See my steely thick goatee? I'm 1/10th Norris..'nough said.
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I've decided to use this space to dispel some of the rumors about me cropping up on the net.
1. The scientists are right the universe was created in the Big Bang. In my own defense the universe is a cheat and it had it coming.
2. I am a supporter of the Iraq war. That being said its important to clarify my original version of "shock and awe" involved the Thundercats.
3. When I was 5 I did invent a flux capacitor, but my Big Wheel was too unstable over 70.
4. According to the myth kryptonite is deadly to Superman. That part is true, but kryptonite is not radioactive pieces of his home planet as once thought. It's actually the nickname of my left fist.
5. The story of Beowulf was actually written by me under it's original title "How I Spent My Summer Vacation."
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